For Valentine’s Day this lil ...uh, “precious pooch” traveled around the neighborhood to pick up all sorts of sweet Valentine’s for his mama and bring them back to her only to then be bribed with cheese to give her said gifts.
“Precious pooch” = a$$hole
Traveled = ran away
Valentine’s = piles of dead animals and feces rubbed all over his body
Bribed with cheese = lured into being caught with dairy food