Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” _______________________________________________#SmallFeetGetTheBestShoes 😍👞
#FeetSizeDoesntDetermineTheSizeOfOtherBodyParts 😏🔞 *A horse has hooves but is still endowed so....Minions will be blocked if they speak with disregard* #TryMe😏

#kinghashthattag👑#️⃣
#sayeetaziteez 😏😎

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

#ThatAwkwardMomentWhenYouKnowYouShouldPickADisposableDuvetAndUseIt😏😴
#MothersWillBestAnyNewsNetworkWithGistOnceTheyMeetTheirFriendsInTheMarket🙄😏
#MotherWillSendYouOnRandomErrandsJustSoTheyCanHaveTheirFiveMinsOfGossipSpaTreatment🛍️🚶🏾👈🏾
#SituationBeLike🤔
#Mum:*SeesAuntyJosephineAndScreams* I knew I would find you here buying detergent. 😝😜
#AuntyJosephine:Thelma,Shame on you for not telling me about Mama Ifeoma's failed dinner party.🙄😝
#Mum:My dear you don't know the half of it..*Mum turns to me*Go and pick out choice thread for your torn school uniform.👔😏😒
#Me:But mummy you already picked a new shirt so no need to sew the old one😒
#Mum: *Visibly angry* My friend make yourself useful! Can't you see we are talking.😤😠. #Me:*Opens disposable duvet and cover self* Mummy wake me up when you are done.😴🤕
#MothersWillTradeYourPeaceOfMindForTheirImpromptuShoppingBanter😂😂😂👑#️⃣ #Kinghashthattag #Sayeetaziteez

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

#9OutOf10FemalesHaveExperiencedThisRelationshipRuiningMoment💔😰
#IfYouEverWantToKnowYourGirlsFartLimitTickleHerTillSheFarts😂
#TheResultingSoundAndSmellWillDetermineIfYouTrustAnythingThatComesOutOfHer🏃🏾
#SomeFemalesWillEvenGetAngryCosTheyWereTickledAndTheyFarted😡👩🏽 #Bae:*VisiblyEmbarrassed*I told you to stop, now look what you made me do😡🙈
#Me:*InShock* Why are you mad, Like did I tickle your butt or your sides?😳
#TicklishFartsAreTheWorstCosTheyComeWithNoControlOverSound🔇 *Its like Bae ate a DJ the night before*🤔🎼
#ItsLikeOneMinuteYourGirlIsLaughingThruHerMouthAndNextYouAreInShock😳🤔 *You can't believe she has had that sound in her all this time*
#FemaleMinionsWillBlameAnythingForTheTerribleSmell😏
*I had eggs without my makeup*🍳😏
*I didn't exfoliate today*🙄😏
*I didn't say grace before you started tickling me*🙏🏽😏
#ShameOnAllFemalesWhoThinkAfterPullingStuntsLikeThis"IAmSorry"CutsIt👻😂😂👑#️⃣ #Kinghashthattag #Sayeetaziteez
♻️ @iamdesibanks 🙏🏽

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

#SantaWasntGoingToWaitTillChristmasDayToDeliverJusticeToThePaedophile😏😂 #SantaWasntEvenGoingToCrawlDownAnyChimneyForThisDelivery😏
#SantaWentFromHoHoHoToBlowsBlowsBlows😂😂😂➡️🤕🤕🤕 #SituationBeLike🤔
#Santa🎅🏽: Hey little boy
#LittleBoy👦🏽:Hey Santa
#Santa🎅🏽: What do you want for Christmas😊
#LittleBoy👦🏽: Santa, see that man over there, he tried to touch my....😔🔞
#Santa🎅🏽: He What!!! Say no more (turns to the elves) Alabastar Snowball, get the team. Let's give that filth some PaRumPumPumPum on his drums 👊🏾💪🏾🎅🏽😈👻
#AlabastarSnowball👻: Santa do I bring the reindeers? 🐴
#Santa🎅🏽:No, Rudolph and his brothers can sit this one out 😒
#TheElvesLeftTheirToyMakingDutiesAndWentInOnTheAction😈👊🏾 #SantaGaveThePerpTheSilentNightUpperCutWithAHarkTheHeraldAngelKick 👊🏾🤕😂
#SantaMovedThePerpsNameToNumberOneOnTheNaughtyList😂😂
#FreeSanta 🙌🏾🎅🏽 #SantaAndTheElvesLivesMatter🎅🏽🙌🏾👻😂😂👑#️⃣ #Kinghashthattag #Sayeetaziteez

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

#WhenTheWildResponseComesThruItsTheExcitementIsLikeMMMIsBack😂😂 *Get your money back*🤑
#ThoseTextMessagesThatOnceSentAndDeliveredLeaveYouDebatingYourLifeChoices😰🤔 *Should I have sent that?*🤔📩 #ThoseRiskyTextMessagesThatCanResetYourRelationshipInAnInstant⏲️❤️➡️💔
#RiskyTextsLike"BabeDidYouCookJollof?"🤔😋
*WildResponse: Ofcos Hun, I even fried plantain*☺️😉
*NegativeResponse:Am I your mother*😏🙄
#RiskyTextLike"BaeYouUp?"☺️🔞
*WildResponse: Yeah, thinking about you*☺️😍🙈
*NegativeResponse: Go to bed, my battery's low*😏🔋
#RiskyTextLike"HiItsMe"😎
*WildResponse:I know, I was hoping you'd text*😌
*NegativeResponse:Me,Who*😏😠
#RiskyTextLike"HelenSendMeAPictureOfYouWearingNothing"😋🔞📸
*WildResponse:Hold on let me lock the doors*😉😌🚪
*NegativeResponse:This is Helen's father (Pastor Mugabe), see me after service tomorrow*👴🏾😤😂😂👑#️⃣
#kinghashthattag #sayeetaziteez

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

#SayHelloToStephenJobsonTheFatherOfComFoolters🙌🏾🤓🖥️💻⌨️
#WhenYouSellMemoryCardsButYourAnatomicalMemoryCardIsFried😰🤕🤑
#LetsAnalyseStephen👨🏿
#SJ:WeSellMemoryCardDanlowdMucikRepyaaLaptopAlsoAnyTypeOfSystems🤓🖥️💻
#Chuey:WhatDoesCPUMean?
#SJ:CBU...CBUIThingItMeanEhnnnCocial....Sorry *CocialPointingUmbrella*☂️🖥️💻
#Chuey:YouRepairComputerWhatDoesCPUMean🤔🎙️
#SJ:*ClearlyAngeredByChuey*EezItUSB..AsInTheCPUInUSB?😏🙄
#Chuey:CPU!😐
#SJ:CPUMeanEm...AzawilimeanTo...😫😖 *Azawalameanto is jibberish for "I have lost my mind..please come and be going*😡😡
#ThisIsThatComputerTechnicianWhoWillReplaceYourRAMCardWithDettolSoap😂😂
#TheTypeOfComputerTechnicianToReplaceYourKeyboardWithWhiteboardAndMarker⌨️➡️
😂😂👑#️⃣
#kinghashthattag #sayeetaziteez
Cc @pulsenigeria247 @chuey.chu @swicktv 🙌🏾

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

#HowCanMinionsBeThinkingLikeAbacusesInThisComputerAge😂🖥️➡️🖲️
#ThisIsWhatHappensWhenYouUseYourSmallRemainingSenseToPlayMMM😰🤕🤑
#LetsAnalyseMinionOne(KaftanBoy)👨🏿
#Chuey:WhoInventedMicrosoft?🤔
#KaftanBoy:Uhnmmm,TheNameJustUhmmm...Hokay...MikeZukehbugYeahYeahMikeZukehbug😎🤔
*Mike Zukehbug is actually the founder of Mumu.com a social drinking site for morons*😏😕
#KaftanBoysFriends:OhBoyOurGuyNoGetSenseSinceENoRecieveAlertForMMMOh*LaughingHysterically*😌😂😂
#Chuey:*ThinkingToHimself*HowDoesThisGuySleepAtNight🤔
#LetsAnalyseMinionTwo(LaughingGasGirl)👩🏼
#Chuey:WhoInventedMicrosoft?😏
#LaughingGasGirl:*Hehehehehehe*IKnowTheIphone☺️📱
#Chuey:WhoInventedTheIphone🤔
#LaugingGasGirl:*heheheheh*SometingMakintosh☺️
#LaughingGasGirlsFriend:ButItWasMakintoshThatInventedEmEm..NoNoIDontKnow🤔😕
#Chuey:SoWhoInventedApple?🤔😳
#LaughingGasGirl:SometingMakintosh😎👩🏼
*When Makintosh had a child, names were scarce so he named his seed 👶🏽"Someting"...hence the name Someting Makintoshh, Inventor of Apple and Banana*😂😂👑#️⃣
@pulsenigeria247 @chuey.chu
#kinghashthattag #sayeetaziteez

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

#NothingIsSweeterThanWhenGoogleConfirmsYourCommonSenseIsInTheirDatabase😌☺️
#MinionsHeadsWillJust"Swell"InstantlyLikeBreadDroppedInTea🍞🍵
#ItsSweeterWhenWhatYouAreArguingAboutInvolvesACelebrity🙌🏾
#SituationBeLike🤔
#Me🇳🇬: Kofi, Did you know Mark Zuckerberg first tasted Jollof in Nigeria🤓
#Kofi🇬🇭: Chaley, Na lie you be!😤
#Me🇳🇬: *kmt*.. This is my problem with you, Kofi. Just because it's jollof, you think it's the usual Ghana/Nigeria Banter.🙄😏😒
#Kofi🇬🇭: Chaley I say E be lie wey you talk.😤
#Me🇳🇬: Okay let's google it.🤓🕵🏼 #Google🇺🇸: Kofi, your friend is right. Mark had jollof for the first time in Nigeria. He even had it with dodo and goat meat. 😉🌎 #Me🇳🇬: *Head swelling in progress*😌🔥☺️
#Kofi🇬🇭: Chaley, you Nigerians your sense E be heavy ooo🙌🏾🙌🏾
#BigHeadSyndromeIsCausedByGoogleConfirmingYourGist 😂😂👑#️⃣
#kinghashthattag #sayeetaziteez

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

#ThatTypeOfLeftOverThatLeavesYouThinkingOfMadNutritionalCombos😋😆
*LeftOverJollofWithMrBiggsBread*🍲🍞
*LeftOverOgufeWithIndomieNoodles*🐐🍜
*LeftOverPorridgeWithGuinessBigStout*🍛🍺
*LeftOverFriedRiceWithHurriedlyMadeCornbeefSauce*🍲
#ThenThatAnnoyingAuntyWithAPairOfDirttySteadfastSlippersShowsUp😏👡
*SteadfastSlippers: Slippers 6yrs and older worn by Aunties, usually left at the door to indicate they are around*📝
#ThatAnnoyingAuntyWhoWillAlwaysAskForJustColdWaterBut15MinsLaterWillAskWhatSoupMumMade🍵➡️🍛
#ItsLikeMummyIsTryingToGiveAwayMyInheritance😰
#ItsLikeMummyWantsToTieMeBackWithMyPreservedUmbellicalCord😰
#GivingAwayLeftOverJollofIsLikeGivinhAwayBellytuality😰
*Bellytuality:When your belly is in the book of life*📝🙏🏽😋
#MummyBetterPutDownThatLeftoverOrAtleastLeaveTheFriedMeat🙌🏾🍗🍖😂😂👑#️⃣ #kinghashthattag #sayeetaziteez

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

***The word "Boring" is one amongst many witchcraft words, phrases, and statements that minions fear.😨Other words and phrases include, short😡, small😡, limp😡, odour😡, I'm not yet there😡,we need to talk😡, call me😡. So Imagine spending a full grown male minion day...i.e. 24Man hours then the witch now goes on fb to say "What a boring day". Let's just analyze all alphabets in that word "BORING".🤔***
#BStandsFor"BoyIfYouEverDMMeIWillLeakYourNudes"🔞
#OStandsFor"OhMyGodHeEvenHadTheNerveToTryToKissMe"😤
#RStandsFor"ReallyICantBelieveIActuallyPretendedToEnjoyHisCompany"🙄
#IStandsFor"IWillNeverTakeHisCallsEvenIfHeOffersMeFoodAsAnExtra"😫
#NStandsFor"NxxgaCallYourMotherNextTimeYouWantToHangOut"😡
#GStandsFor"GoodnessMeThatGuyCanTalkkkIKeptWishingHedShutUp"😪
#IfSheDoesThisSheIsAGraduateOfHogwarts👸🏽😈👻🎓
#FBUpdatesLikeThisHaveTurnedMenIntoAlcoholicsFasterThanFailedExams🍺🤕
#FBUpdatesLikeThisOneHasPutMoreMenInDepressionFasterThanFailedLoginAttemptsOnInstagram📵😂😂👑#️⃣
#kinghashthattag #sayeetaziteez

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

***This one is strong!!(Eleyi gi di gaaannnnn)💪🏾😳🙌🏾
#AndAllThisTimeSheWonderedWhyHerWorkMatesSaidSheHadBoxersBreath..*EnhancedMouthOdourDueToScentFromManMeat*😷 #ThisDiscoveryExplainsThePubesShePulledBetweenHerTeethTwoWeeksAgo😳🤔😂😂
#EverSinceHerLastToothBrushShesBeenRefusedWhisperingRights👂🏽⛔️...keep your gossip Sister.🙏🏽😶
#NoWonderEveryoneSaidSheSoundedLikeADxxkWhenSheTalks🤔🍆
#ItsNowClearWhyHerPartnerKeepsSaying"HoneyYouTasteLikeBalls"AfterThatGoodnightKiss 😙😷🤔
Pervert probably looks at her when she smiles and goes, she's got my scent in that smile. #ASmileSmellsItAll😂😂
His excuse is just rude! "I have a toothbrush obsession."😡😡***
#Toothbrushophile😈🔞
#WhileOtherManCraveBxxbsAndTingsManIsOutcheaCravingBristles😂😂#PervertLevelIsColgate😂😂😂👑#️⃣ #kinghashthattag #sayeetaziteez

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

****Papa Abena's first bite and cringe action was deliberate😂😂#WhenYouAreSoAngryYouBiteTheAtmosphereToLetOffSteam😤😬😂😂
Listen to Papa Abena!! 🔊👂🏽Don't macho yasef dat ya going to pulling(polling) station to and take santin(something). #NoRiggingOrElectoralViolenceInGhana📦📮🏃🏾🇬🇭
If yoaa (you're) macho take it to Olympic games. If you know to how to fight (if you know how to fight) please take it to boxing rimg(ring) and fight for a bik (big) money. 🤑👊🏾#IfYouAreDesperateOfGetLinkedGoFightAnthonyJoshua👨🏾🇬🇧🇳🇬
Watch the sway when he says "PLEEEASEE WEA ALL GHANIANS(GHANAIANS)!!"😌☺️🎼 I hope John Mahama and Akufo Addo are listening. Papa Abena is already upset cos his barber creased his hairline. #WhenYourBarberPlaysSnakeAndLadderWithYourHairLine. 🐍🎮
#PapaAbenasNostrilsSeemToFlareUpWithHisHandGestures👃🏾😤
#WhoeverWinsTheElectionsWillHaveAHotPlateOfThePresidencyWithKenkeAndTilapia🍛🇬🇭🐟🌶️
Papa Abena is already upset with his haircut and so he doesn't want any trouble. ✂️👴🏿#AManWithACreasedHairlineIsAManThatCanTakeLives🔥😤😂😂😂👑#️⃣
#kinghashthattag #sayeetaziteez ♻️ @ipostghana 🇬🇭❤️

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

****He doesn't give a damn if anything is fire because he has a hot temper. #HalfManHalfTemper👨🏿😤 #HomoTemperus 👨🏿😤
If a fire breaks out in hell, Satan calls him to put it out. #WhenYouAreTheOfficialFireManForHellFire. 👷🏾🔥👿
He is the man who looks at a woman and she gets pregnant. #LooktopicPregnancyByGololaMoses👨🏿🔞👀👶🏽
That boast is the "peakest" boast ever. 🙌🏾🙌🏾
#TheManWhosJuiceCanActOnItsOwn💦😎 He said there are two Golala Moses.👨🏿👨🏾 Golala Moses the hot temper and Gola Moses the "Hot Tempery"... The formers heat range is max 100C while the latter gets so hot, a "y" had to be added to Temper to define the heat.🔥🙌🏾
He wakes up and trains when mosquitoes are sleeping. #JeanClaudeVanMalaria👨🏿💪🏾
Minion said he "Sthhinks...I Sthinkkk likay Whaaeeat". 😷🙌🏾#WhenYouSmellSoBadYouSmellLeavesAcousticNotes😷🎼
When he was born, the nurses cried...#HisUmbelicalCordProbablyTurnedIntoAWhipAndFloggedEveryoneInTheLabourRoom😷😭😂😂👑#️⃣***** #kinghashthattag #sayeetaziteez
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