The Desire Map, a goblet of wine, bouquet of sharpened pencils, a cozy sweater, heavy rain and candles to light my way to my core desired feelings. Bring on the feels. #thedesiremap#coredesiredfeelings
"The truth was that, the more I loved myself, the more patience and love I had for everyone else. It felt like magic. Could I really have an entirely different experience of reality, a much more loving and compassionate view of reality, just by loving myself? Was it both that hard and that easy?" ~ @tarynvoget Trust Fall
I wish that someone knew just how hard this life is for me.
I'm struggling so much in the efforts of trying to stay clean.
Trying to stay in recovery.
Yet absolutely everything is leading my back down the road to hell.
I've told so many people my fears in hopes that they could help me stay good.
But in all honesty, I'm the only person who can save me from myself.
I just want to cry.
I just want someone to hold me.
I just want a cigarette.
I just want a beer.
I just want something, anything to make me feel different,
Which that very fear in and of itself scares me the most because that means I'm back
To square one,
Back to the point where my eating disorder was in charge of absolutely everything.