Once upon a naked day at Little Beach this group of dudes was standing around pouring beer into my ass and taking turns drinking it out of my crack. One guy in particular seemed very interested in this kind of public display so I knew we'd get along. He took me into the water where he told me he was HIV Undetectable and I told him that was fine. What I didn't tell him was that my status was what I like to call HIV Possible, which is when you haven't been tested in a while. HIV Probable is also acceptable depending on your risk factors. So this guy leads me up a hill and takes me into the sex cave where I lose all sense of time. During our session he refers to himself as daddy a lot even though I'm fairly certain we're the same age. After we finish I randomly start crying because seriously what am I doing with my life. He comforts me and asks if the reason I'm crying is because he called himself daddy and seems to imply that my own father must have molested me at some point. My dad is an actual saint and he never has but that seemed like an easier route than telling him about my existential dread so I nodded and sobbed into his naked chest. When we emerged from the cave my friend Nick's head was bleeding - apparently he'd fallen and hit it on a rock while searching for me. Turns out I'd been gone for nearly three hours. Then Nick and I were forced to drunkenly find our own way back to the resort where his mother had drunkenly packed all of our clothes up and locked us out of the room. We walked to a hotel down the street where I found $50 on the sidewalk. We spent it all on Pizza Hut.
Follow #thebrettbubble on Facebook for more stories like this! Link in bio.