I love good doctors appointments! Went to see my gastrointestinal specialist to follow up for my colonoscopy and endoscopy and since everything was all clear but I'm still in tons of pain we are trying a new medication; Robinul or glycopyrrolate. It slows acid production and is supposed to help soothe my belly. Doctor also agreed to follow up with my gynecologist and neurologist as I have a lot of other concerning symptoms ontop of my severe daily abdominal pain. (Dizziness , problems walking, tremors , electric shock like pain, numbness etc) Now its time to play with leela & rest a bit .
it’s funny how God knows what we need, & how He answers prayers when the situation seems to be hopeless.
our awesome GI specialist we’re seeing at the hospital told us he was going to call Mayo but not to get our hopes up in terms of trying to change things. he hated the idea of me traveling 19 hours, but he hated the idea of waiting until July- when they said they could see me- even more. but they called him back today & said they’d make me a VIP patient. they could see me sometime in the next month. so that means, I can put off traveling & stay inpatient. I’ll be transferred to the campus with the motility team. &, medicaid covers the cost of TPN. my mom had to quit her job today, so that’s a huge blessing. God is really good to me, & He is the one who understands everything that I feel & endure. it took me a while to realize that He sometimes heals the spirit before the body. my spirit breaks over & over, but He’s always there to heal me, over & over again. even when things feel hopeless, He is always in control. & He’s always working for my good & His glory.
my new friend @emma_hurstt sent me this wallpaper today & it was definitely something I needed to see
Since my body is in the constant of state feeling like it got ran over by a train because it is fighting itself and all sorts of fun things, I don't have to abide by any fashion rules (and guess what, even if you're healthy and abled: you don't have to either! But if that's you're thing: Go for it!). I'm tired and everything hurts so I don't have the time or the energy. I'm also bad at matching. My sister called me Punky Brewster for a reason!
Also ah #ChronicIllnessFam look at my new hat! ("Bad hair day") Its perfect for my chronically (ch)ill days! Shout out to my wonderful grandma for treating me Be comfy. Be healthy. Be happy. Love yourself. Fight for your life.
I went to the new doctor and they had thE SMALLEST DOG, look. Her name is Lucia and she was wearing the same hoodie as me. [ID: first slide is a picture of a road sign with a red - yellow - green stoplight graphic against a background of snow-covered trees and blue sky. Next three pictures are of James in sitting in a waiting room while wearing a red hoodie and holding a tiny Yorkshire terrier (??) in their lap. The terrier, Lucia, is wearing a purple hoodie in exactly the same style, but tiny. It's cute as fuck. End ID.] #spoonie#disabledandcute#smoldoggo#iphonography#cripplepunk
This is the woman I remember. ♀️ Kind. Fierce. Dynamic. Empathetic. Loving. Strong. Passionate. Unstoppable.
I may not look like the 2012 version of myself but I’m on my way back there mentally and emotionally.
I am ready for change. ♀️
I will no longer be a passenger in my life.
I’m not sure the direction I’m going but I know it’s forward.
I’ve felt stuck for a long time. I’ve allowed a lot of baggage to hold me back.
I’ve allowed a lot of negativity into my life and let it weigh me down. 🤬🤯🤮
I’ve allowed my boundaries to be crossed in every area of my life and I’m done.
I am coming to peace with myself.
I am seeing that being alone in calm and happiness is better than being in the company of chaos. #iam a #strongwoman 🦓
Ive been hiding away a little for the past few weeks. Incubating. Lots of healing. Thinking. Doing behind the scenes things. .
It truly is a full time job living with chronic illness and when you have more than one condition it’s like juggling with stilettos. I’m getting lots of pointy ends and it’s getting tiring keeping them all in the air. .
Right now, I’m exhausted and I’m feeling everything, but I’m also in a weird situation where I have actually been worse than this so... .
Everyday is different. Everyday is a beginning and every day I am thankful for being here. i know it’s hard but living is worth it, the journey is worth it. I hope that makes sense. When all you’ve seen is the inside of your bedroom for days upon days, anything you achieve past that-for me-is an achievement to hold on to.