Breaking beauty standards.
7 out of 10 women believe they arent good enough and 92% of teen girls would like to change something about the way they look, with body weight ranking the highest.
It could be because of what we constantly see in media, what we hear from our closest friends,our family, or it could be what we say to ourselves when we see ourselves in the mirror.
Ok so I haven’t been slacking on my #oneyearoneoutfit2018 I’ve been taking weekly shots, and I truly believed I wasn’t making much progress. But I promised myself I wasn’t going to compare them until at least 3 weeks in. Well, I made it almost 4, and y’all. Just trust the process. It’s going to be SLOWER with PCOS. I know, it really sucks. But once you accept that, and just keep at it, and doing the things that make you feel good and focus on health and strength of mind AND body, and let go of the scale- shit clicks.
These pics are almost 4 weeks apart. It’s not a huge physical, dramatic transformation. Not everyone will see it. But I FEEL it. I’m killing my workouts. I’m eating in ways that I know makes my body feel it’s best. I can run a mile in under 9 minutes again and I can climb a hundred flights of stairs without calling EMS. For the first time in months, I’m doing this FOR ME. Am I the slimmest I’ve ever been? Fuck no. Am I the biggest I’ve ever been? Not even close. But what I am? Is unwilling to try to go back to an older version of me, and I’m ready to focus on who I am now.
I cried when the nurse made me keep my shoes on the other day, whining, “butttt the last nurse let me take them off and now it’s going to seem like I didn’t lose and the doctors going to think I’m not trying and...” wah wah wah. I was so panicked my blood pressure and pulse went up so high they double checked it 3 times. I was miserable throughout my whole appointment. All I was focused on was what others would think of a 3 digit number.
But as I got my labs back today, showing my a1c is perfect, my cholesterol has dropped ( and Ive had genetically high cholesterol my whole life) my blood sugar was normal and my hormones were all within normal range, I forgot all about the scary BMI they gave me. And laughed. I feel good. I’m doing this for me. And it’s working. DONT QUIT ON YOUR DAMN SELF. Okay? ( also, sorry about the skivvies. But my one year one outfit is all black so skivvies in my new one year one outfit #oneyearoneoutfit2018 )
Resilience seems so impossible sometimes. 5 weeks before this shoot I was literally in a hospital bed. I have to remember that I have all the sunshine and color that I need inside of me. The dark just protects it.
: @donavanfreberg /pose coach: @eve.esq