I had written a post on my birthday comparing the person I thought I would be at 16 when I was like 9, and the person I had truly became. I talked about something like this with one of my besties yesterday, and I wanted to mention it here
When I was 9, I thought that I would become like all the girls that I saw on TV shows. They had boyfriends, they were super pretty, always cool, neat, they wore great makeup. But I became to EXACT opposite of this
I'm not one of the girls that I used to look up to when I was a kid. I don't feel ready to have a boyfriend AT ALL. I'm super shy. I hate makeup. I'm not confident AT ALL, I'm uncool af
So no, I'm not one of the girls that I admire because they always look confident, pretty, neat, cool. I have REALLY bad writing. I laugh too loudly. I burp all the time. I eat A LOT. I always put food on my clothes. I always play the fool. I'm fucking shy. I make super sexual jokes. I'm a fucking weirdo, and I'm not cool, I'm not attractive, I'm not sexy
I realized that I just don't give a single fuck about anything about the appearance. That's why I hate anything manual. That's why I don't make any effort about my writing. I really dislike makeup.
And I'm really happy about who I became, and as I just realized it, who I was already when I was 9, it just wasn't that strong
I have became a very intellectual person (this doesnt mean that Im smart or some bs like that guys, it's just tastes). Some of my classmates see me as a nerd, I absolutely love school, I enjoy learning A LOT, I am interested in everything, I always over-think everything, I just love anything that stimulates my brain
PS : Im not saying that pretty neat girls dont like learning and stuff, I'm not that dumb, it's just that I dreamed about being like that when I was a kiddo
PPS : To the girls who always look so cool, you guys are goals and I admire you so much, can you teach me ?