Lately I've been having these weird thoughts.
"What will happen if I just end it?"
"Where would I go?"
"If I let go, will I burn or end up on clouds?"
I generally get excited at the thought of future relief. But isn't it selfish for me to feel upset and sad about my life? Compared to a lot of another people who struggle, my life is actually pretty great. I have almost everything that I want so why am I complaining so much? Why are rain drops falling so frequently? Why do this puddles keep forming? I am happy. I'm always happy. But lately these things that make me unhappy are getting to me. I wish and wished for it to go away. And I try to ignore it. But somehow the rain always ends up pouring. I end up sitting in a puddle. But like always the rain doesn't last for long, and the sun comes out again. I still want to learn how to keep the storm clouds away. I need to keep the sky's blue and full of white puffy clouds.
"After rain there's always a rainbow."
Mars, you found your rainbow. And I think I've found mine. You all are my rainbow. My friends. You all make me happy. Being here makes me happy. My current love is also my rainbow. He makes me happy. Very happy. Even if he doesn't know me, he pulls away the dark clouds that surround my shining sun. Even if the rain comes and leaves me completely soaked after. I'll always be okay. Because I'll always have a beautiful rainbow to look to afterwards.