You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in. - Mandy Hale
Collecting myself, while loving myself, and taking one breath at a time.
Hey guys! Let’s dive into a touchy subject called “depression”! A recovery story is a messy thing. It has dozens of beginnings and no final ending. Most of the conflict and drama is internal, and there’s a lot more inaction than action.
P.S.A [I am not a license psychologist/psychiatrist. I am not a trained mental health counselor. I am not professionally trained to help people who truly need correct assistance/guidance with mental health collectively.] Although, I am brave enough to open up an share my own personal experiences/struggles with depression. As well as advocating the importance of being productively aware on mental health as a whole.
In most cases, from what I have noticed is that depression expresses itself individually almost like a uniquely designed fingerprint. As for myself depression comes and go’s like the changing seasons. For example, it feels like an invisible wave shockingly passing all over my body, you know that feeling when an ocean wave frightfully smacks you.. I feel like a prisoner in my own mind.. a slave to my body. My whole entire system becomes shocked with “fight or flight”, and most of the time I usually choose flight.. shutting everyone out while unknowingly running towards more problems. Hurting my relationship with people by shutting them out an in that slight moment they mean nothing to me but at the same time they mean the WHOLE world to me.
I have learned that if you’re going through a depressive episode 1.) ALWAYS surround yourself with good people - being alone truly eats you up alive. 2.) BE PRODUCTIVE- find something to do even if it’s cleaning house or garden just be active. 3.) TALK TO SOMEONE - your mind is going to tell you that they don’t care, but trust me baby they do.
Dear 2018 (me)
You are still a blank slate, a collection of days not yet trodden, so let’s make it right this time. Learn to cherish each moments. Take time to breathe and look at the things around you.
Appreciate. Appreciate. Appreciate. Be grateful. You are more now than you are 5 or 10 years ago. Heck, you are more than now than I am. So please please, don’t hurry in life. Keep your footsteps steady, you may find one day that you seem to be moving slowly, and that’s okay, as long as you keep moving forward.
You may stumble and fall along the way, and that’s alright too, I have so much bruises and scars already on my knees and heart, and every time I still try to get back up again. Sometimes I had stayed too long on the ground, and I want to tell you that it’s alright too. Take your time this coming year please. Appreciate life. No rushing forward. Forward is forward.
One step is still a step as long as you keep your eyes on your goal. Create goals. Choose happiness. Make happiness one of your goals. And I know you still have that inner compass in you, that inner knowing that makes you know which path to take. Listen to it. Always. It never fails.
Wishing you the best in life and love and everything else that your heart desires,
Sincerely, 2017 (me)
P.S. Keep your brains and heart connected at the same time. All the time. It’s hard, I know. But those two work wonders together, and not apart. - Cynthia Go
Oh florida why do you feel like summer even when it’s Christmas Eve?
O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
How lovely are thy branches (). What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace. - Agnes M. Pharo
Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones. - Thich Nhat Hanh
It’s okay to smile.. You know like maybe once in awhile.
Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired. Smile, even when you're trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision. Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy. Trust, even when your heart begs you not to. Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see. Frolick, even when you are made fun of. Kiss, even when others are watching. Sleep, even when you're afraid of what the dreams might bring. Run, even when it feels like you can't run any more. And, always, remember, even when the memories pinch your heart. Because the pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. And without your experience- you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric. What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your terrible life and hold your head up high the next day. So don't live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after all the crap has happened, than you ever were back before it started - Alysha Speer
Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that's why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that's why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living. - Alysha Speer
It's okay to feel down... but never forget to love, adore, kiss, and caress your beautiful mind an unique soul even harder each an everyday.
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is,to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you win then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” | Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
“We try to appear attractive, nice, good, valid, legitimate or worthy to someone else instead of discovering what we actually feel and want for ourselves. In this kind of conscious or unconscious arrangment, other people are expected to provide our own feelings over power, worth, or vitality at the expense of our authentic development.” —Polly Young-Eisendrath
Guys you will not believe where I was yesterday... A magical place out in Gainesville called the Butterfly Rainforest at the Florida Museum of Natural History. Every beautiful butterfly I came across with took my breathe away. My heart is currently exploding, and may never stop erupting.
I will never be able to describe in words what my mom means to me. If anyone wants to know, they will have to go inside my heart to see. My mom’s love is warm, cute, caring and sweet it is all that my heart needs to beat. I LOVE YOU!
Life has been difficult and there have been times when I've felt like giving up, when things were not going my way. Each time, you were there to remind me of my worth as a human being.
You encouraged me to keep reaching for the unreachable and never settle for anything less than I deserved. No matter how bizarre my dreams were you always told me to go after what would make me happy. As I get older, I realize more and more how much you have done for me and continue to do every day.
Happy Mother's Day mommy!
Let's just say that last weekend was just all around FUCKING unique and special to me. I want to say thank you to everybody who congrats me on graduating and of course who wished me a happy birthday. I'm so honored and blessed to have spent every waking moment with you guys whiles celebrating not only my 21st birthday, but everyones beautiful souls up. Once again thank you guys for being in my life & celebrating it with me. MUAH! xoxo