"There is a language older by far and deeper than words. It is a language of bodies, of body on body, wind on snow, rain on trees, wave on stone. It is the language of dream, gesture, symbol, memory. We have forgotten this language. We do not even remember that it exists."
- Derrick Jensen #adhoorinazmreads
\\ Silence - Beethoven\\
"What are the words you do
not yet have?
What do you need to say?
What are the tyrannies you
swallow day by day and
attempt to make your own,
until you will sicken
and die of them,
still in silence."
- Audre Lorde
\\ Sexbomb - Tom Jones, Mousse T.\\
"…I shall go too in silence leaving not
Even a finger print on this crowded earth,
Carrying away my bird-in-flight voice and
The hundred misunderstandings that destroyed
My alliances with you and you and you…"
- Kamala Das
"It's as if you're spilled out somehow? Not you-who-you-are but you-inside-of-you.
As if the world is ending and you see how silly you've been, and petty, and small-minded, and stupid, thinking the wrong things mattered, all along.
Does that make sense?"
– Joyce Carol Oates
\\ Tu bole glass adha khali - A R Rahman\\
"The revelation of loneliness, the omnipresent, unanswerable feeling that I was in a state of lack, that I didn’t have what people were supposed to, and that this was down to some grave and no doubt externally unmistakable failing in my person: all this had quickened lately, the unwelcome consequence of being so summarily dismissed."
- Olivia Laing, The Lonely City
\\Balmorhea - Remembrance\\
Stoner, John Williams - 5/5
"You must remember what you are and what you have chosen to become, and the significance of what you are doing. There are wars and defeats and victories of the human race that are not military and that are not recorded in the annals of history. Remember that while you're trying to decide what to do."
- John Williams, Stoner
Stoner was published in 1965. It was respectably reviewed; it had a reasonable sale but it did not become a bestseller. It went out of print. Fifty years after Williams wrote to his agent, Stoner became a bestseller. A quite unexpected bestseller. A bestseller publishers themselves could not quite understand. A bestseller of the purest kind – one caused almost entirely by word-of-mouth among readers.
- [Excerpt from an article published in The Guardian]
I spent my new year's eve reading this book. I finished it in one sitting. And while I was reading this book I can't tell you how many times I wanted to call Stoner or Williams up and ask them a million questions. Yes, this book is that good.
Stoner is a reader's novel in the true sense of the term.
2017 wasn't a good year for me when it comes to reading and finishing books. But I am sure 2018 won't be like that. My first book of the year was Stoner, after all. I couldn't ask for a better start to my year.
I am not going to tell you anything about this book because reviews or anything for that matter, won't do it any justice.
It's not just a book.
It's an experience.
And every single person should experience this book.
\\ This will destroy you - Quiet\\
"Everyone says you were beautiful when you were young, but I want to tell you I think you're more beautiful now than then. Rather than your face as a young woman, I prefer your face as it is now. Ravaged."
- Marguerite Duras, The Lover
This is one of those beautiful beautiful books that everyone should read at least once in their lives.
\\ The Elevator Song - Keaton Henson\\
"Time brought resignation and a melancholy sweeter than common joy." Emily Brontë
Skimming through the pages of this rugged beauty.
I love this edition.
Which is your favorite edition when it comes to Wuthering Heights?
Home, I stare
at my empty bed.
Imagine a bed
that becomes a sculpture
of every night you spend alone, lying
blanketed in the heavy wool
itch of loneliness.
A bed veined
with your sighs, stained
by the heat of your single body.
One’s mattress, stripped bare,
is not meant to reveal such intimacies.
It should be clean like bone: function
betrayed by form, nothing else.
of how I curl to the left,
leaving space on the right.
– Gregory Alva Ng
"Because in some men it is in them to give up everything personal at some time, before it ferments and poisons -- throw it to some human being or some human idea. They have to."
- Carson McCullers, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter #currentlyreading
\\ The Blue Notebooks - Max Richter\\
"On bended knee is no way to be free
Lifting up an empty cup, I ask silently
That all my destinations will accept the one that's me
So I can breathe
Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
Half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know
Got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul
And so it goes…"
- Eddie Vedder, Guaranteed (Into the wild)
I watched this movie several days ago and I STILL CANNOT GET OVER IT. Some movies stay with you for a long long time. This is definitely one of those.
Also, do yourself a favor and get yourself a friend like @half.a.misanthrope who'd order you to listen to certain life-changing music albums and watch unforgettable movies.
"There is an aching void in my heart which I am convinced the world can never fill."
- Emily Dickinson
Do you feel the void?
Why does it get so hopelessly sad around this time of the year, every god-damned year?
It's like a haunting combination of emptiness, darkness, helplessness, low-grade melancholy and other things I cannot name.
"[…] I am, I exist, I think therefore I toss, I am, existence is fallen, won't fall, will fall, the finger scratches at the window, existence is an imperfection."
- Jean Paul Sartre
"It does not matter how long we have been kept in cages. It does not matter how strong your gravity is. We were always meant to fly."
- Sarah Kay
Yesterday, I came to know that the first fiction book I'd edited two years ago got published recently. My first fiction. MINE. (I don't care if I didn't actually write it. I still consider it mine.)
It doesn't matter that I was an intern at that time and my name won't be in the book. It doesn't matter that it took 2 years for it to come out. It really really doesn't. What matters is that it was the very first fiction I worked on and that's when I decided I wanted to do this all my life. What matters is that I gave it my all, spent several sleepless nights and frantic days working on it, went bat shit crazy thinking I would fail at this but, I didn't fail. What matters is that something I worked my ass off for is out there in the world for everyone to read. It is immortal now. OMG. And I can't describe how happy that makes me. This actually proves that no matter what, hard work always pays off. Always. Maybe it won't happen when you want it to but, it will happen.
So to all of you out there…never ever stop believing in yourself.
Do all that you can and wait for the goodness to come to you.
"Shelley came to him on death, and Shakespeare. They came to him unbidden and were as much a part of his life now as his life. As though a life could be contained within a book, a sentence, a few words. Such simple words. Thou art come unto a feast of death. The pale, the cold, and the moony smile. Oh, them old-timers."
- Richard Flanagan, The Narrow Road to the Deep North
… #currentlyreading this book with some of my most favorite people of bookstagram @the.ubiquitous.assimilator and @my.book.story (check out their accounts if you haven't already).
I am hoping I'll be able to give this the time it deserves and that life wouldn't come in the way (like it always does).
Adulting is such a party pooper.