Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton) [similar]

Chronic Adventurer 🤠 | Happy as Flip 😋 | "What would you ask for, if you knew the answer would be yes?" Co-Founder, 10 Million Meals 🚀

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

1/2 German, 1/4 Polish, 1/4 Irish, and 1/3 Sunburn... And that means that I can smell shade from a quarter mile away... 👶
Anybody else sunburn before they even step outside?
#SoWhite #LikePorcelain #SunscreenersAnonymous

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

"Man I'm gonna look so big in this tiny chair. I hope everyone thinks it is a normal size chair and I'm actually some sort of giantman." 😋

#ItsSoSmaww #Optimism #GiantLife

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

Girls like a handy man. Ok, here we go. Pick up a hammer and just pretend you know what you're doing next to that Flux Combobulator or whatever. 💪

#Sh*tSh*tSh*tSh*t #DecidedlyNotHandy #NotAshamed

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

Sometimes after a long day of grinding on your goals, and putting in the hours to see your dreams start to become a reality, you drag yourself home exhausted, completely and utterly spent... and can barely pick up a fork.
Other times, you just take really unflattering pictures whenever food gets near your face.
And still other times, you really should have just left the first part of your caption... Damn it. 🙄

#FoodPorn #Seductive #foodie

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

💡 Jumpman jumpman jumpman jumpman... That boy's up to somethin 🏅

#UpToSomethin #Franz #KicksNGiggles #Besties #travels

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty... Got told he couldn't sit on the wall shortly thereafter, so he graciously apologized and walked away in shame 😅💂 #HumptyDumptyStillRespectsTheRules #Sittin

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

A solemn and heartfelt farewell to my friend Sunnies, you were a true and noble friend. Now that you're not around, I can hardly see the world around me. It's just not the same. 🎖️😫 #IJustBrokeMySunglasses #DontWorry #WhyCruelWorld #BlueEyeProblems

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

"Dear Diary, Benji called me Gross Foot Walton today, and that made me kind of mad. 😦 Now he is drinking pink juice, so I called him fake news. Now we're not talking..." #FakeNews #RealFriendshipBeingTested #WhoDrinksPinkJuice

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

I grew up with a single mom as a kid, and she was the best. Day in and day out dealing with me was tough. I was a fat little handful of nefariousness... 👦 And she taught me more than anyone in the world.
And yet, somehow, I'm still over here throwin sand at my friends.
Sorry ma... 🙅

#WhereAreMyManners #SandyMandy #ButIStillOpenDoorsForGirls #WhoSaidChivalryIsDead

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

Quick question for you... What is your favorite type of bread?
Mine is Bumpernickel... 🤣🤣 Ba dum tiss. 😊

#OrMaybePUNpernickel #PunGameTooStrong #WhoWentFlying

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

They say this little cup is wheatgrass 🌱, but it looks a lot more like liquid to me. Investigation commenced 🤔, verdict to come soon 🕵️️. Stay tuned

#GrassGrowsInTheGround #MysteriesAbound

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

Fake it til you make it, that's what I say... 🤓🤔 #CoffeeSnob #VoraciousReader #ArabicaNStuff

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

If they're gonna make you drink out of a fancy cup, the least you can do is give em the gentleman's pinky... 💁

#PinkysUp #FancierThanImUsedTo #DontFindMeOut

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

Do I regret it? Yeah, you bet I do. Do I still have sand in my hair after 3 showers? Nobody knows for sure... Would I do it again? Absolutely. 👱

#GoodbyeSkin #SorryShower #LeavinATrail #LifeIsABeach

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

How many wrinkles is too many wrinkles?

I guess we will never know for sure 🤦🤦🤦 #TheLimitDoesNotExist #NoRagrets #WardrobeMalfunction

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

Life is a beach and I'm just playin in the sand!

Moved to Bali about 2 months ago, and we've spent a grand total of 2 hours at the beach... I still can't surf to save my life... But a man can dream... 🙃
#SurfsUp #NotAChance #SlappinTheWaves #MahaloMeansHelloAndGoodbye

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

Nobody tells Dr.FixIt (Ph.D.) how to use a screwdriver. Not even you, tradition. 😝

#LadiesLoveAHandyMan #UseItHowIWant #Bada$$BikerLife #AllMyThingsAreSoBroken

Evan Walton (@iamevanlwalton)

I don't know what workout I've been doing to get this sweet of forehead vascularity, but some stones are better left unturned 🤦

#SmileSmileSoHard #NotExactlyBodyGoals #Oops
More...