What I’m able to do now on my days off:
C R E A T E
I’ve been experimenting a lot with paint pouring recently, and I’ve made several that I’ve drawn or painted designs on top of, like this boho/ doodle feather.
There is something therapeutic about being able to express myself creatively and let go and see what happens, vs being tied to a specific look or expectation.
The fluidity of the different colors and how they dance with each other and merge to form new colors and designs is so inspirational for me. I’m go happy to be able to get back to my roots of painting and drawing, things I haven’t done since I was in college. #painting#paintpouring#feather#boho#bohemian#freeflow#inspire#create#letgo#therapy#arttherapy#painter#artist
My last Instagram post was nov. 23 on Thanksgiving.
Since then, I’ve closed my photography studio and started a job as a lash artist and studio director of Deka Lash. It’s a complete change from what I’m used to, but I truly love learning so much about this business and more importantly, still being able to do what I love by helping clients look and feel better about themselves.
It’s weird coming home and not having *more* work to do like I used to have when I was a pro photographer, but I wouldn’t trade it, because I’m able to enjoy more time with the ones I love, and actually enjoy my time off.
The photography industry just got too competitive. And I know the beauty industry can be the same way, but I know the girls I work with are a team, and we support each other.
It’s a relief to go to a job where you’re not competing and trying to tear each other down but instead support by each other. That says a bunch.
Since Roxie left us back in July, Ayla has definitely stepped up to the plate as the sweet 4-legged “mom” of our family. I catch myself staring at her eyes so much because they’re so beautiful.. and they remind me so much of my dad’s eyes.
I seek peace and happiness in everything I do. I have a very strong intuition that I've come to rely on in most situations. When something starts feeling "off", I can't ignore it, and if I ever do, I eventually discover my intuition was right.
I've had people reach out to me in the past few days who otherwise couldn't care less about me and what's going on in my life, all because they want to know "what I'm doing next?", when it doesn't affect their life in any way, other than they want to just be nosey. When I was sleeping most of the day away a few weeks ago and couldn't form a complete thought due to excessive anxiety and depression I was drowning in, I didn't hear anything, and now that I've crawled my way out and I'm making the steps to move forward, people I haven't talked to in years are suddenly interested in my life.
Why? Because I'm leaving a business I built from the ground up, and seeking something else that will fulfill and sustain me? Will those same people support me in my new endeavor? I already know the answer to that.
I'm an extrovert by nature but the way the world has become, with social media, the "highlight reels" of life, the constant need for people to imitate their life out of a Pinterest board, the fake friends, the constant issue of always being offended, the constant need for approval and for everything to be "perfection" instead of reality.... it makes me never want to leave my house.
I don't post for approval or acceptance. The people who love me and are authentic already know and approve of me.
I post to share information with multiple people at once, so I don't have to repeat myself a thousand times.
So even with this new phase of life I'm moving toward, I ask that if your only intention is to be anything other than genuine, please just leave me alone. I don't have time for anything less than happiness anymore. Life is too short to waste on "fake".