Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag) [similar]

•Humanity❤️ •Lifestyle👞🎩🔹Inserts message🔹 •Hashtags 🎤#️⃣ •Satire😜 •Your verbal sparring partner🤓 •Let's laugh😂 •Blocking Negativity Expert⛔️

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔷️Precious Lord, I come before you as a sinner first and ask for forgiveness now in anyway I have sinned against You, please forgive me. Now I commit these vermin of corrupt men that go by the acronym SARS into thine hands... Lord sometime in 2016 they arrested me and locked me away for one day on charges of "forging my own signature". Lord, you did nothing.... Since then they have gone on to commit uncountable atrocities yet You have done nothing... Lord I know Your word says "There is a time for everything under the sun". Lord has that time not come for these men? The other day one boastful said "He would kill some youths over a missing uniform and Nothing would happen" You did nothing.... Now they have "reportedly gunned down a 10year old... There will be mourning in a home tonight, in a community, in a state, in a country yet we wait on you.... Dear Lord, we won't give up believing in your judgement. We will continue to wait and use every peaceful, non-violent and logical instrument to expose them but I ask that You speed up your judgement on these corrupt and wicked men of SARS....Lord stay Woke on these devils... and please keep them away from me... the last experience will haunt me to my grave. I am certain of this. Receive all the praise and thanks, Amen!🔷😟😓😭
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🔺We are human first!🔻😓😭♥️
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#WhoWillTellHerMother😭😓
#WhoWillTellHerFather😓😭
#10YearsWithSoManyDreams😓😭
#ThePoliceNeedToAddressThisSARSBehavior😓😭
#DearPoliceOfficersDontLooseTheTrustOfThoseYouAreSwornToProtect😓😭
#SheProbablyHadPlansForTomorrow😓😭
#WeAreHumanFirst ♥️
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏😏
♻️ @instablog9ja 🤝

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹Why change? Everyone has his own style. When you have found it, you should stick to it. Like me, find #EbeweleBrown and stick with the brand!🔹😁 ✂️______________________________________
♦️Everything Ebewele, colors too!♦️😉
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#EbeweleBrownBespoke👌🏾✂️
#EbeweleLuxury🤑✂️
#EbeweleRoyalty👑✂️
#KaftanByEbeweleBrown
✂️: @ebewelebrown 🔥
📸: @ademolaniran 🔥

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹️Nothing beats a female minion who can hold her alcohol levels. It's like magic.. Fellas, get you a female that can hold her manners in the deep of liquor! Don't get Abike, Sa'adatu, or Iheoma , who will taste a drop of Star Lager Beer and start tip-toeing towards the next traffic light cos she's tipsy! As for me, there are days I look at Bae and I "Schwear" the minion was a bartender in her other life!🔹😊😍🍾🥂🥃👸
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🔺Thankfully, I have never had cause to question Bae's Drunk'ometer..... She can sink a bottle of #Jameson and still solve the Riemann's formula while we run one set of #AdultTennis...... Haters will focus on AdultTennis..... #BlurkingModeActivated🔻🔞😐😒
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#TheChroniclesOfDrunkBae👸🤔🥂🍾
#IfBaeCantHandleHerAlcoholIsSheBae🥃🥂👸🤔
#SmoothieBaeMayNotBeBae👸🍨🤔
#BaeWithALickleBitOfAlcoholIsABae👸🥃🥂🍾😍
#ThisIsNotAnEndorsementForAlcoholism 🥂🥃🍾👎
#LLL 🙏🏽❤️😂
#Funny 😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹To whom it may concern... Calvary greetings! Just to restate my earlier claims that I know Olu. @oluwatofunmi_exito . Olu is my friend, birthday-mate and brother. He is also good at lifting haters out of my comment section.🔹😏🙄📝
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🔺Dear Olu, as earlier discussed, here's a list of my proposed “Hater" class for the month of November 2017! In no particular order, @yourmamasfavouritesoninlaw @hawtmoe @robyekpo @sommie_ash @wale.ng @theaudebrand @dimpled_softie @tilishoz @gbagaunmuncher @miss.nancee @tiencepay @jogban @ms_erica.k @adaaghanya @ankaraqueen @ladotun @mpraiz @dammyneal @silkygifty @singlenigerian @folz_14 @3arhayo @foladallas @queenbeereigns @boo_tifull @abizart @toyinadebisi @succie19 @funky_okboying to mention but a few. Kindly lift them out of my comment section before you leave for your competition. Good looking out bro🔻🙏🏽😁
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#OluTheStrong🇳🇬💪🏾
#StrongManOlu💪🏾🇳🇬
#TheNationIsOnHisShoulders🇳🇬💪🏾
#HaterLifterLikeOlu 🙌🏾😏
#OluCracksEggsByLookingAtThem🥚👀
#OluFriesBaconByBlinking🥓😉
#OluBoilsStonesJustByTicklingTheNearestMountain😂🌄
#OluIsMyGuy 🤗
#LLL🙏🏽❤️😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹Call me a chicken, Sissy, Wuss, call me “Helen” or whatever... I don’t care!! This is me without the long hair and pale skin but with a beard. Yes, I scream like a 9year old girl when my buttocks or any part of my body is threatened by a syringe (ESPECIALLY MY BUTTOCKS.... for heaven’s sake the buttocks is a sacred gathering of muscles). I have a morbid fear for injections, needles, pins, thumb tacks, anything pointy Yes! #Trypanophobia. Once I see a syringe, I scream for “My Mommy” in falsetto and dramatic tenor notes... Period!
I am not afraid to admit that as a 21 Year old minion. So please judge yourself before you judge me!🔹💉📌👀😱😢🍑
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🔺Poor child was screaming like she saw three ghosts, a leprechaun and the girl from The Ring Movie.... anyways, as usual haters will focus on my age! If you don’t have proof of me being more than 21, hold your peace! I am ready to #Blurk people! Try me!🔻 🤬😏
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#IWouldRatherSwallowATruckLoadOfPills💊🚚😁
#MyButtocksMyWorld🍑🤗
#NeedlesSyringesPinsAreTheDevilsTools💉📌😈👿
#IAlwaysSeeTheAncestorsWhenISeeASyringe💉👀➡️👻👴🏾👵🏾
#LLL🙏🏽❤️😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹Top 4 babies I can’t hold on to for any reason.
1. Frowning Babies (Looking like my landlord)
2. Baby with pronounced facial features (Big nose, wide eyes, Thick teenage looking lips etc.)
3. Babies that just stare at you like they know you from another life.
4. Babies with runny nose, stained bibs, soiled nappies etc.
🔹👶🏽😏😢
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🔺Some babies can be so squirmy, next thing I am low key shouting “Come and carry your baby ooo, he/she is about to cry” lies.... I DONT WANT TO DROP YOUR BABY!🔻 👶🏽 😱
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#PleaseHoldYourBabyWhileILiveMyLife👶🏽🙄
#IfYourBabyIsntPrettyIAmSorryIAmNotHoldingHimOrHer🙄😏
#IfItsNotMyBabyIAmNotPlayingHoldMyBabyGames😤🙄
#LLL🙏🏽❤️😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹️A few good men and the mainest guy of all..... Mr Jameson...in a bottle.🔹🥃😉
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🔺Whiskey, like a beautiful woman, demands appreciation. You gaze first, then it's time to drink.🔻🥃🥃
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#JamesonNG🥃😊
#TripleDistilledTwiceAsSmooth😊🥃
#WhiskeyOverBeer 🥃
#TBT 🎩🥃
#JamesonThursday 🥃😊
#LLL 🙏🏽❤️😂
#Funny 😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹️JAMESON NO CHILL!🔹🥃🇮🇪
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🔺Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.🔻🥃♥️
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#JamesonNG🥃
#TripleDistilledTwiceAsSmooth ♥️
#WhiskeyOverBeer 🥃☺️◾️🍺😒
#18NovemberWithJameson🥃☺️
#Xhale 🎧🏤
#LLL 🙏🏽❤️😂
#Funny 😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏😏
@yomibell @xhale_lounge @original_ibibio_bouy

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹That awkward moment when someone says “May/Can I make a quick call with your phone?” And the person goes on to use your airtime/Call credit to quarrel or argue...🔹🤔😤😡
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🔺And then the other party has the nerve to call your line again to engage in another round of foolishness!🔻😡🤬
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#DontCallMyPhoneToContinueOrStarrtAndArguement😤😢
#GetYourOwnAirtime😏🙄
#IAmNotAConduitForViolence😏🙄
#MyPhoneMyAirtimeYourQuarrelYourIssues😏🙄
#NothingLikeAngrySalivaOnYourPhone😡💦
#EppUsTehDemOh📢🙄
#LLL🙏🏽❤️😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹️JAMESON TAKE OVER!🔹🥃🇮🇪
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🔺Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.🔻🥃♥️
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#JamesonNG🥃
#TripleDistilledTwiceAsSmooth ♥️
#WhiskeyOverBeer 🥃☺️◾️🍺😒
#19NovemberWithJameson🥃☺️
#Vanilla 🎧🏤
#LLL 🙏🏽❤️😂
#Funny 😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹️25 years of friendship! @captainesankara🔹😊
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🔺We meet again after 22years of life's crazy events separating us and all we have to show for it is what, crazy hairlines, manboobs and a cute potbelly. Laugh at us and be #Blurked🔻🤣😂
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#TheKingAndTheCaptain👑🎩
#TheHashedOneAndSankara👑🎩
#BrothersAtArms♥️
#SankaraIsThatJournalistOfInternationalRepute🤗
#NigerianMilitarySchoolLads😁
#LLL 🙏🏽❤️😂
#Funny 😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏😏
👖: @ettekambadesigns 👑

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹Have you ever gone to a restaurant and queued behind another person who ordered for food and after heaping their plates with their order would magically not have enough money to pay? They then begin to “subtract” the components of the meal and by so doing they waste your time?🔹🤬😥
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🔺They then turn around and say stuff to you like “Sorry my brother, Imagine I thought I had more money on me.” First off I am not your brother. Secondly, moooovvveee! Let me order for my moimoi and kpomo!#TimeWastingSquirrel 🔻🤬🐿️
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#AHungryManIsAnAngryMan😋🤨🤬
#YourHungerShouldMatchYourWallet😋🍲➡️💰
#RespectTheQueue😏🤨
#WeDidntWaitOnTheQueueToWatchYouDoFoodArithmetic 🍱➕🍛➖🍱🤬
#LLL🙏🏽❤️😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹Usually I play dead once I sight her @askdamz @fran_asemota @amb_farida @healthertainer @dammyneal @diaryofanaijagirl @abizart @iceydrinkscocktails @solaraknight @toyinadebisi @ayahoneyberry @sheisboki @theglammamah @silkygifty @oliveemodi @omaliicha @michelledede @najitedede .etc. But if the female minion starts walking towards me, I just assume the position of mannequin and hope she doesn’t tap me and say “Hey you... I thought you were taller”. #OutspokenUnicorn🔹🦄😏🤨
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🔺Meanwyl I can hold my breath for 2 mins! So if female minion doesn’t move away after 2mins, I am just going to faint and sue her for attempted murder!🔻😢😢
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#WhenISeeMyCrushAndIHaveToActLikeABoxOfOreos😍🍫
#WhenTheCrushSightsMeAndIJustStayStillLikeYesterdaysNews😐📰
#MyHeartRateMightIncreaseButOtherBodilyFunctionsRemainSteadfast😢😤
#WhenYouHaveToUnnoticeYourselfSoTheCrushDoesntNoticeYouNoticedHer🤯😥😓
#LLL🙏🏽❤️😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹Don’t mind the #RuthlessPoodles. This female face is usually followed by statements including “It’s not funny”, “Do you think this is a joke”, “a part of me wants to believe you know I am upset”, “You know what I am tired of your nonsense”, “You are really getting on my last nerve” etc.🔹🤣😂🤣😂
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🔺9 times out of 10, a male minion will try to tickle Bae to douse the female rage building within her. Should the face persist, he may then proceed to approach her from the rear, press against her hard drive 🍑 and whisper the words “Do you want to eat?” immediately there’s a transfer of information suggesting food is on ground and #AdultTennis is imminent🔞 she will immediately calm down. The one time this doesn’t happen it’s because Bae is really angry and she can kill him!🔻😂🤣😂🤣
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#IfBaeHasThisFaceJustHaveFoodOnStandByToCalmHerDown🍗🍳🍕🍹
#IfBaeHasThisFaceShesDefinitelyGoingToLaughAtSomePoint😁😂🤣
#IfThisFaceLastsLongerThan3MinutesBaeIsReallyAngrySoRun😢🏃🏾‍♂️
#CutenessAccordingToAnger ☺️😚
#LLL🙏🏽❤️😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹️I have always been a "Whiskey Guy". I fear I am part Irish...🔹🇮🇪♥️
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🔺Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.🔻🥃♥️
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#JamesonNG🥃
#TripleDistilledTwiceAsSmooth ♥️
#WhiskeyOverBeer 🥃☺️◾️🍺😒
#FridayWithJameson🥃☺️
#LLL 🙏🏽❤️😂
#Funny 😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹Have fun with family and friends at #KraksFest. Don't miss it for anything. 😁😁 @KraksTV
.
.
Venue: Bics Garden, Lekki Phase 1 🕺🏻🕺🏻🔹
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#KraksTV 😂
#Kraks 🤣
#FamilyFun 👩🏽👨🏽👧🏽👶🏽🧒🏽🧔🏽
#Festivals 🎟️🎪🎭🎼
#Fun 😁
#LLL🙏🏽❤️😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹Once you start a topic with “Bae...Did you hear what/that....” this is every female minion’s expression. Any information to stay ahead of her gossip clique!🔹🤣😂🤣😂
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🔺Heaven help you if she already has the gossip you are about to spill... You will never get 5mins of her time again.🔻😥😢
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#AsFarAsItsGossipFemalesListenWithEveryPartOfTheirBody 👀👅👃🏽👂🏽👣😂
#FemalesAreAlwaysTwoGossipsAwayFromYourGossip😏🙄
#TheDefaultFemaleExpressionForDownloadingGossip😏🙄
#IfHerEyeBrowsAreAtAnAngleOver90WhenYouAreTellingHerStuffShesStoringTheInfo😏🙄
#FemalesAreAtTheirMostDangerousIfTheGossipIsntWorthTheirTime👩🏽😡⚰️
#LLL🙏🏽❤️😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹Who else gets worried when they are behind an open truck filled with security agents? Most of them don’t see the need to observe standard gun safety. Or are they just ignorant?🔹🤔
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🔺When I am behind those trucks or even beside them, I swear I hold my breath and stare at the nozzle of the gun anticipating a discharge so I can literally dodge a bullet.🔻👴🏾😂🤣😂🤣
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#PointTheNozzleAtTheFloor 🔫👇🏾
#SaftetyFirst🙏🏽
#KeepYourGunOutOfMyFace😥❌🔫
#TrafficInThisCountryIsBadEnoughNoOneNeedsAGunPointedAtHisFace😤
#GunSafety
#LLL🙏🏽❤️😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏

Elyc Djòrn (@kinghashthattag)

🔹CAVEAT: Watch till the End!🔹🤣😂🤣😂
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🔺The man was explaining the situation at 100Sentences/Second! Spit flying, mouth odor vibing and thereafter he dropped a meaningless parable! When you PLACK a fruit, wait until it RAIPE before you eat THA fruit. Don’t eat UNRAIPE fruit! Papa Kofi must have been referring to plantain (as a fruit). Ghanaians!!! And I thought the skill of answering questions sarcastically was a gift for only Nigerians... I was wrong! GO AND AS YOUA GRANDFADA!!! Papa Kofi 1 - Interviewer 0🔻👴🏾😂🤣😂🤣
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#APartOfMeThinksTheReporterMightGoAskHisGrandfather😂🤣
#SomeonesGrandFatherJustGotCalledOut👴🏾🤔
#AfterAllThatExplanationAndManStillAskedAFoolishQuestion😮😤
#PluckAFruitAndAskYourGrandPapaOtherQuestions🍏👴🏾
#LLL🙏🏽❤️😂
#Kinghashthattag 👑#️⃣
#SayeetAziteez 😏
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