I'm leaving for Japan in less than 24 hours!!! I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I'll be adding lots of stuff to my story so make sure to check it out over the next ten days! (And don't worry, I'll obsessively VLOG the entire time)
I've had a really hard time finding tattoo artists within LA proper who not only excel in anime tattoos but "speak geek" (I don't like to get inked by people who don't understand what the designs I ask for are!). That's why I'm so happy I found @muffy_art_, who not only is amazing at anime/video game/comic book/Disney tattoos AND is located in studio city, but she's also a huge geek herself (she has an anime sleeve and a d20 tattoo!!). Anyway, she did this amazing tattoo of my spirit animal Umaru on my shin last night and I'm so thrilled. I've never related to a character like I do to Umaru - she's me and I'm her! Thank you Muffy & everyone go to her/follow her for your geek tattoo needs
Just saw the trailer for Netflix's Death Note movie and I'm so upset. Not only is it totally white washed (of course), but it seems like they took all of the psychology and nuance of this amazing series and turned it into "lol hey kids look how edgy bang bang".
By day I work as a publicist - and I love my job very much - but since I'm in an office most days and like sleep, I rarely wear makeup during the week unless I'm going out at night. It kind of makes me sad because I LOVE makeup & don't feel like myself without it, but I also LOVE that extra hour of sleep... hehe. This is my "witch doll" look from Friday night for @vicocandy's art show! It was so fun
This weekend I had a very intense, unprovoked panic attack in public around a bunch of strangers. When I get panic attacks, it vaguely looks like a seizure - my hands t-Rex, my head locks into place and my entire body seizes up while I struggle to breathe. The worst part is that I am completely mentally present, can hear everything going on around me, know that what's happening is ridiculous and am powerless to stop it. It's like being trapped inside of myself.
Luckily my partner & a couple close friends were there to bring me back into myself, but the utter humiliation I felt with the eyes of a dozen strangers on me in my most vulnerable state caused me to continue to spiral into panic and fight or flight instincts for the rest of the night. I kept thinking: "they probably all think I'm crazy. They probably think I'm just some attention whore." I've been thinking about that this morning. About how people don't typically recognize the physical manifestations of mental illness as something "real". If I had the flu and was violently ill everywhere, people would come to my aid and there would be no question that I was sick. But when I seize up in my booth at a party and sob on the come down, I am a spectacle, a strange unstable person that causes averted eyes and uncomfortable glances.
I'm mentally ill. My brain sometimes does really horrible things that I have no control over but because I don't manifest as "sick", because it is an invisible illness I must not ACTUALLY be ill.
I'm posting this because I think people keep their struggles with mental illness quiet far too much. It's not something you're supposed to talk about because then people are going to label you as "the crazy one". It's not something you're supposed to talk about because the media portrays mentally ill people as the ones who "snap", who are violent and dangerous.
I am going to talk about this because the stigma hurts. People who struggle with mental illness every day in silence - that hurts. We all need to be more empathetic and understanding of one another.
I feel like this pic sums up the two sides of my style personality well: creepy kawaii! I love all black everything, spikes etc but also kawaii pastels & otaku gear! The struggle is so real. What are your warring style sides?
Beep boop. Old selfie because I didn't wear makeup today and there's an entire film crew in the office (I work in PR) Trying to angle my body away from everyone so they don't notice my lack of eyebrows, hahaha.
Wandered about my neighborhood yesterday making art. It was what my soul needed in the new moon - I have been feeling so stagnant lately. Expect me back with a vengeance - my own insecurities cannot keep me from creating for long.